The Big Lebowski s Jesus Rolls Again

 
“Nobody FUCKS with The JESUS” !
 
 
John Turturro’s long awaited film “Jesus Roll” is coming soon. The film starring John Turturro as the title character Jesus Quintana, a roll Turturro is reprising from the cult classic The Coen Brothers The Big Lebowski . 
 
Jesus Rolls – Quintana e Tornato co stars : the great Christopher Walken, Bobby Cannevale, John Hamm, Audrey Tautou, and Susan Sarandon and features music by The Gypsy Kings which includes “Un AMORE.” the song played that features Jesus Quintana’s bowling scene when he licks the Bowling Ball, and proceeds to throw an authoritative Strike before going over to The Dude, Walter, and Donny and tells them, “Are you ready to be Fucked?”
 
The Big Lebowski is a cult classic that has millions of loyal followers who are just dying to see anything pertaining to their all-time favorite film The Big Lebowski. The Coen Brothers have stated many times that they won’t make a sequel, so Lebowski fans are chomping at the bit to see this film. Will it live up to the hype? Who knows? And American fans will have to wait, as the movie is first being released in Italy, in early 2020. For now you can watch the brief trailer that to me, I’m sorry to say “doesn’t look very promising?” Again, who knows? Let’s wait and see, and hope for the best in the return of Jesus Quintana in John Turturro’s “Jesus Roll.”
 
Basta !
Screenshot 2019-09-27 at 2.27.23 PM
JESUS ROLLS
Quitana e Tornato !
 
 
 
 

 
The JESUS ROLLS
 
Trailer
 
QUINTANA e TORNATO

 

 
The BIG LEBOWSKI : The JESUS Scene
Dude : “She probably Kidnapped herself. Rug Pee-ers didn’t do this.”
 
Walter : “That Fucking Bitch!”
 
The Jesus : “Are you ready to be Fucked Man?”
 
“I see you rolled your way into the Semis. Me and Liaam are gonna Fuck You Up.”
 
Dude : “Jesus?”
 
The Jesus ” “You said it Man” “Nobody Fucks with The Jesus.”
 
 
 
 
                                      I Love The Big Lebowski. I love Christopher Walken. I Love                                                                       The Gypsy Kings, I hope I Love JESUS ROLLS?
 
I could be wrong, but just from the looks of this Trailer of the up-coming movie “JESUS ROLL”
 
Un AMOR
 
Music by The GYPSY KINGS will be Featured
 
in JESUS ROLLS – QUINTANA e TORANTO
 
 
 
 
The BIG LEBOWSKI COOKBOOK
 
COLLECTED RECIPES of The DUDE
 

WHITE RUSSIAN COCKTAILSMAUDE’S MEATLOAF

 
COWBOY CHILI
 
TACOS BURITOS GUACAMOLE
 
And More …
 
ABIDE in IT !

 

 
.
 
 

Dudes Big Lebowski Black Bean & Beet Salad Recipe

Screenshot 2019-09-21 at 1.34.52 PM

 

Yes this salad is Badass. It’s got Beets (Love em), Sweet Corn, Baby Black Beans, fresh Asparagus, Carrots, Peas and whatever you want in it. I myself switch it up, depending on what I have on hand at home, and what’s available at the Market, so feel free to do the same. You can add, or take away from the basic recipe below. Naturally this salad filled with nothing but vegetables, legumes, vinegar and Olive Oil is Super Healthy. The salad is absolutely delicious on its own, which I eat it this way, but also like to stretch it out and last me at least 3 or 4 days, so I might peel a hard boiled egg and eat it with the salad for a nice easy light lunch or dinner. 

This salad is a great side dish for any meat, chicken, or fish dish, so do use it this way. Make the best of it, always eat your vegetables, everyday and enjoy.

 

The DUDE

.

 

INGREDIENTS :

1 pound bag of Trader Joe’s frozen cooked Beets (or fresh Beets if you like)

4-6 ears Fresh Sweet Corn (cooked and cut from the cob) or 1 pound frozen Corn

1 -14 ounce can Black Beans ( I Love Trader Joe’s Baby Black Beans) drained & washed

1 pound fresh Asparagus (cut and cook in boiling water for 4 minutes & drained)

2 medium Carrots – peeled, dice 1/2″ thick and cooked in boiling water for 7 minutes

1/2 to 3/4 cup Frozen Peas, defrosted 

3/4 teaspoon each of Sea Salt & Ground Black Pepper (or to taste)

9 Tablespoons Olive Oil

2 tablespoons Red Wine or Cider Vinegar

1 Tablespoon Dijon Mustard

Defrost the Frozen Beets, and cut into 3/4 inch dice. Add to a large glass or ceramic mixing bowl. Add all of the rest of the vegetables to bowl and mix.

Add the Olive Oil, Vinegar, Salt, pepper, and Mustard to bowl and mix. You can serve immediately, or place in covered bowl in the refrigerator until you are ready to eat.

.

BADASS-cookbook

ALSO !

BADASS RECIPES

AMERICAS FAVORITE DISHES

SECRET RECIPE KFC

KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN

BONE SUCKING BBQ SAUCE

and More …

Amazon.com

The Jesus Cooks Chicken & Rice

 
 
“Nobody Makes Netter ARROZ con POLLO the the JESUS Maann”
 
 
That’s right man. Nobody makes better Chicken and Rice than the Jesus. Jesus Qintana, nemesis of Walter Sobchak and The Dude cooks too, and he’s jealous of the Dude and his cookbook “GOT ANY KAHLUA,” so he’s publishing some recipes of his own, starting with the famed Cuban Arroz con Pollo, Cuban Style Chicken and Rice, a staple of Cuban Cusine, and a favorite of Jesus.
.
 
 
ARROZ con POLLO alla JESUS
 
 
INGREDIENTS :
 
  • 2 to 3 lbs. Chicken pieces (I prefer boneless, skinless, breasts, but always include thighs and/or drumsticks with bones and skin – they add to the flavor)
  • 4 cloves of garlic (minced)
  • 1 large onion (diced)
  • 1 bell pepper (diced)
  • 1 small can tomato sauce
  • 1 jar red diced pimientos (reserve a little bit for garnish)
  • 1 can peas (reserve about a third for garnish)
  • 1 can asparagus (cut up)
  • ½ tsp. Salt
  • ½ tsp. Pepper
  • 2 Bay leaves
  • 1 tsp. Cumin
  • 1 tsp. Oregano
  • 2 cups dry white wine
  • 1 cup chicken broth
  • Bitter Orange (powder or marinade)
  • Olive oil
  • 3 cups rice (long grain)
  • 1 tsp. Goya Seasoning con Azafran
  • 3 or 4 threads of saffron – crushed (this is optional)
1) Prepare the chicken broth
2) Coat chicken pieces with bitter orange spice or marinade along with the pressed garlic cloves and marinade for about an hour. (not necessary, but it’s awesome if you have the time)
3) Brown chicken in large frying pan in olive oil. After browning  the Chicken, remove and place in a large pot.
4) To make the Sofrito: sauté the onion & pepper in the frying pan (with the bits of garlic and olive oil) until soft, then add tomato sauce, pimientos, peas, asparagus (all with their liquid) salt, pepper, bay leaf, cumin, oregano, wine & broth.
5) Pour in the rice and add the Sazon Goya Azafron Seasoning and Saffron to color and flavor the rice.
6) Pour all of this over the chicken in the pot.
7) Bring to a boil, then lower to a fast simmer.
8) Cook on medium-low heat for about 40 minutes, then check it and stir it. Rice should be soft and liquid absorbed. If there’s still liquid, keep cooking, checking, & stirring.
9) Pour reserved peas and pimientos as a garnish over the finished arroz con pollo.
 
QUINTANA CHICKEN and RICE
 
ARROZ con POLLO
 
JESUS STYLE
CLICK for RECIPES from The DUDE
GOT ANY KAHLUA ?
aka The BIG LEBOWSKI COOKBOOK
.
 

 

Big Lebowski Sequel Movie Jesus Rolls

JESUSthe.png
.
“Nobody FUCKS with The JESUS” !
.
John Turturro
 
As “The JESUS” ROLLS AGAIN
 
aka JESUS QUINTANA
 
 
 
Yes The Jesus will be Rolling Again. But the Dude won’t. John Turturro is reprising his roll as Mexican-American bowling enthusiast Jesus Quintana in his new upcoming movie Going Places, a spin-off of the highly popular Cone Brothers film The Big Lebowski, starring Jeff Bridges as The Dude, John Goodman as Walter Sobchak, Julianne Moore as Maude Lebowski, David Huddleston as “The Big Lebowski,” Ben Gazzarra as pornographer Jackie Treehorn, Steve Buscemi as Donny, Sam Elliot as The Cowboy Stranger, Tara Reid as Bunny Lebowski, the late great Philip Seymour Hoffman as Brandt (The Big Lebowski’s Man Servant / Assistant) and of course John Turturro as “The Jesus” aka Jesus (pronounced HEY-soosh) Quintana.
 
This forthcoming movie (expected 2020) is not a sequel, but a spin-off of The Big Lebowski, starring Tarturro’s character Jesus Quintana (The JESUS). The movie, which was first titled The Jesus Rolls, features Tarturro as Jesus Quintana  in ‘Going Places,’ a film about a trio of misfits whose irreverent, sexually charged dynamic evolves into a surprising love story as their spontaneous and flippant attitude towards the past or future backfires time and again, even as they inadvertently perform good deeds. When they make enemies with a gun-toting hairdresser Jesus Quintana (The Jesus), their journey becomes one of constant escape from the law, from society and from the hairdresser, all while the bonds of their outsider family strengthen. 
 
 
John Turturro as “The JESUS”
GOING PLACES
An older (20 years) Turturro plays an older Jesus.The movie “Going Places” started filming in New York in 2016, and features New York based actors; Susan Sarrandon, Bobby Canavale, Tarturro, and Pete Davidson a trio of misfits” with an “irreverent, sexually charged dynamic” that turns into a “surprising love story,” according to the official log-line. “When they make enemies with a gun-toting hairdresser, their journey becomes one of constant escape from the law, from society and from the hairdresser, all while the bonds of their outsider family strengthen.”
 
Tarturro stated “a very complicated legal situation” kept him from making the film sooner.
 
 
WATCH This VIDEO BELOW
 
John Turturro and Bobby Canavale
 
Short Film “HAIR”

 
 
 
John John Turturro
 
“GOING PLACES”
 
Interview
 
 
 
 
 
EAT LIKE THE DUDE
 
The BIG LEBOWSKI COOKBOOK
 
 
 
BIG LEBOWSKI Spinoff GOING PLACES Movie about JESUS QUINTANA TRIVIA
 
 
Joel and Ethan Coen HAVE NOT ENDORSED the movie GOING PLACES as an Official Spin-Off of The BIG LEBOWSKI
 
The Coen Brothers only involvement is giving John Turturro permission to use the Big Lebowski character Jesus Quintana.
 
The character of Jesus Quintana was created by The Coen Brothers for the Big Lebowski Movie, it was John Turturro as an actor who came up with the eccentricities and mannerisms of his character “The Jesus”
 
Ethan and Joel Coen say, “John talks to us incessantly about doing a sequel of his character.” told Canada’s The STAR in 2013. “He even has a story worked out, which he pitched to us a few times. No I don’t see a future in it for us.”
 
Joel Coen says, “No, I don’t see it happening. I just don’t like sequels.”
 
 
 
John Turturro (in Barbers Chair)
 
and Bobby Canavale
 
In GOING PLACES
 
The JESUS ROLLS
 
 
 

 
DUDE ABIDES STELLA ARTOIS
 
JEFF BRIDGES SUPER BOWL BEER COMMERCIAL
 
with SARA JESSICA PARKER
 
For STELLA ARTOIS
 
“DUDE ABIDES”
 
 

 
 
BIG LEBOWSKI Spin-Off
 
JESUS ROLLS

 

Me The Big Lebowski and the Cookbook

516e2-biglebnixon

The DUDE Makes a “CAUCASIAN”

White Russian Cocktail

The Dude Abides! Yes he most certainly does. I first saw the seminal movie The Big Lebowski, (Crime Comedy)I think it was somewhere around the year 2000. I know this because the movie was released in 1998, and I was working as a manager at Da Silvano restaurant at the time, and my co-worker Alessandro and I used to quote lines from the movie. We booth loved, as we also loved Boogie Nights, and I  remember Alessandro quoting lines, like “Don’t bother me. My  wife is in the driveway with an Ass up her Dick, and you’re giving me shit about the lighting.”

Anyway, I can’t remember the exact time watching it, but I do remember there was a video store that sold new VHS Movies pretty cheap. Like $5.99 and $6.99 for a lot of good movies, and I really built up my movie library frm that place, whatever its name was, I can’t remember. Anyway, along with Casablanca, The Godfather, several 007 Bond films, Fargo (Coen Brothers), and other movies, I bought a VHS copy of the Coen Brothers “Big Lebowski,” at that video store on 6th Avenue that day. I took the movie home and watched it that night, “I Loved it,” it was brilliant, and since that first viewing, I’ve probably watched The Big Lebowski starring Jeff Bridges as The Dude, at least 80 times in the past 19 years or so. I can never get enough of the Dude, Walter (John Goodman), Donny (Steve Buscemi), and Maude (Julianne Moore). and the greatest cult movie of all-time The Big Lebowski. The movie is fun, lighthearted and entertaining, and Jeff Bridges in the lead roll turns in a brilliant performance. I recently  came across a video clip of Julianne Moore stating in an interview, saying something like, “I’m stunned as to why Jeff Bridges was nominated for an Oscar. His performance was amazing.”

Anyway, I just love the film and the characters, and all the little happenings in it, and great music too. Not an ounce of Shitty Ass Rap Hip Hop so-called music. To me, its just awful noise, and ever chance I get, I’ve just got to knock it and put it down for the Shitty Ass Crap that it is. Basta!

Anyway, back to the good music of the Big Lebowski. The movie begins with a mystic figure of the Cowboy Stranger, played brilliantly by Sam Elliot narrating (not seen) and stating he’s going to tell a story about a guy named The Dude who lives in Los Angelas as the song “Tumbling Tumbleweed” plays in the background, and we see a panormic shot of the city of Los Angelos, then a closer shot of a actual Tumbleweed rolling in the wind down the streets of LA. 

Yes there’s music by the obscure Sons of Pioneers (Tumbling Tumbleweed), Bob Dylans “The Man in Me,” the Eagles who we find out that The Dude hates, and most of all the Dude favorite band Creedence Clearwater Revival, who the Dude just loves and listens to constantly. We hear Creedence music throughout the movie. One of the most memorable scenes is when Dude is happy driving in his car (favorite pastime), smoking a joint and listening to Creedence’s “Out My Back Door.” The Dude ends up dropping his joint into his pants, which starts burning his crotch, the Dude bangs on his crotch to put the little fire out, and proceeds to crash his car into a telephone pole.

The Dude ends up in all other kind of mishaps and hi-jinx. H to is favorite pastimes as the Dude states Maude one day that he likes; Bowling, smoking weed, driving around, and “A Little of This & a Little of That.” Doesn’t everyone?

Yes, I’ve watched the Big Lebowski many times, it makes me happy, I just laugh and laugh. I love the characters, the things the say (like Fuck 225 times), and their outlook on life. Walter likes Beer, bowling, and being a Hard Ass, and his all-time # 1 favorite thing is to tell Donny to “Shut The Fuck Up!” Donny, what does Donny do? Well, Donny likes Bowling too, and is more or less along for the ride and have Walter (John Goodman) yell at him, “Shut The FUCK Up Donny!!!”

Maude, she’s into art, hanging with her Gay Friend Knox Harrington, “the Video Artist,” and going to the Biennale (Art Festival) in Venice. That’s Venice, Italy, not California where the Dude lives.

The there’s “The Jesus” played by John Tarturro. Jesus is a rival bowl of Mexican ancestry who Walter claims is a pedophile.,  but he “Can Fucking Roll,” as Dude says, meaning that he’s a really good bowler.

The actual Big Lebowski is played by actor David Huddleston. He’s a rich guy living in Pasadena and is married to a much younger “Trophy Wife” named Bunny, who just so happens to be a Porn Star actress, starring in a Pron Film Logjammin, that Maude screens for the Dude one day. 

The whole them of the movie is that Bunny owes money to her Pornographer Producer boss Jackie Treehorn (Ben Gazzara) who wants his money back. Treehorn sends a couple of dumb goons to Bunny’s husband Jeff Lebowski to get his money back. Only problem is the dummies go to the wrong Lebowski House, they go the Dudes house in Venice Beach. The Dude’s real name is Jeff Lebowski as well, and this turns out to be a case of mistaken identity. This is how the Dude ends up mixed into a lot of stuff, like the faked Kidnapping of Bunny Lebowski (Tara Reid) being held for ransome, which in the end turns out that Bunny’s Husband Jeff Lebowski who is Maude’s father is trying to extrot 1 Million Dollars from a fund that his family has set up for  under-Privileged children in the city of Los Angelos.

Well, what about the food you want to  know? Well food comes up in the famous scene when the Dude, Donny, & Walter end up at an In-N-Out Burger ( recipe ) one night after thinking that a high school kid named Larry has their briefcase full of money (supposed). 

The  movie the Big Lebowski has an enormous cult following of millions, many of whom like to call themselves achievers, named after the children who receive funding for their education from the Big Lebowski’s “Urban Achievers Foundation.” Many have wondered if the Dude is a vegetarian or not and what he likes to eat, which we never see him eating any food on the movie. In the scene where they go to In-N-Out Burger on Camrose, and we see Donny and Walter eating In-N-Out Burgers in The Dudes car, but we never see Dude eating one. Why? Some have speculated the Dude is a vegetarian. He’s not. Dude loves burgers too. He loves Guacamole, Burritos, Tacos and Maude’s Meatloaf, as well as Walter’s “Jewish Penicillin.” And it’s all in the cookbook “Got Any Kahlua?” The Collected Recipes of The Dude, aka The Big Lebowski Cookbook written by me.

Got Any Kahlua is  a satirical look at the movie the Big Lebowski, and it’s an actual cookbook with lots of great recipes that we (I, “The Royal We”) think the Dude would like to eat, like; Eggs for Breakfast, Tunafish, Cowboy Chili, Steak, Burgers, Guacamole, Tacos, Burritos, and of course Maude’s Meatloaf. And yes, there’s a recipe and instructions for The Dude’s favorite beverage, a “Caucasian,” aka White Russian Cocktail which has become a trademark of the Dude and that movie called The Big Lebowski. And no Big Lebowski Themed Cocktail or Bowling Party would be complete without them.

So, loving the Big Lebowski, and food, and being a writer of cookbooks, and a chef, I one day got thee idea to put them all together, and so GOT ANY KAHLUA aka The Big Lebowski Cookbook was conceive, written, and executed by little ol me, Daniel Zwicke.

 

 

GET YOUR COPY of GOT ANY KAHLUA ?

aka

The BIG LEBOWSKI COOKBOOK

ABIDE in IT !

 

 

The BIG LEBOWSKI is a CRIME / COMEDY Movie written, produced and Directed by the COEN BROTHERS in 1998

Starring ; JEFF BRIDGES as The DUDE

John Goodman as Walter

Steve Buscemi as Donny

John Tarturro as “The Jesus”

Julianne Moore as Maude Lebowski

Davide Huddleson as The Big Lebowski

Philip Seymour Hoffman as “Brandt” 

 

 

.

d1a8f-screen2bshot2b2016-10-302bat2b2.49.232bpm

GOT ANY KAHLUA “

aka The BIG LEBOWSKI COOKBOOK

Daniel Zwicke

AMAZON.com

 

 

.

.

 

 

GOT ANY KAHLUA

 

e88e0-screen2bshot2b2016-10-302bat2b2.49.232bpm

GOT ANY KAHLUA ?

aka The BIG LEBOWSKI COOKBOOK

COLLECTED RECIPES of THE DUDE

ABIDE in IT !

GET IT

Got Any Kahua is a Satirical Book / Cookbook spoofing the cult movie classic The Big Lebowski, a Coen Brothers Film starring Jeff Bridges as The Dude, ex-hippie stoner who loves to bowl, smoke weed, drive around in his car, and drink White Russian Cocktails.

The book Got Any Kahlua was written by Daniel Zwicke who was a professional chef in New York’s Greenwich Village and cooked or was the Wine Director at some of New York’s top restaurants including; Celebrity Hot Spot “da Silvano” (now closed), Barbetta, Del Posto, Cafe des Artistes, and Bar Cichetti which Daniel created, was Chef / Wine Director and Managing Partner. Daniel is also the author of the Best Selling Italian Cookbooks, Sunday Sauce, Grandma Bellino’s Cookbook, and The Ragu Bolognese Cookbook.

Got Any Kahlua, though a satirical book that is quite funny at times, is actually a practical cookbook with lots of good recipes and advice on how to cook, what to cook, and how to save both time and money through cooking the recipes in the book. the recipes which include; Dudes Guacamole, Cowboy Chili, Tacos , Burritos, Maude’s Meatloaf, Walter’s Jewish Penicillin (Chicken Soup), Steaks, Eggs, Burgers, and how to make the perfect White Russian aka Caucasian. These recipes are what the author imagines that the Dude (Jeff Bridges) and his friends might like to eat, and include, among other recipes, a recipe w/ instructions on how to make an In-N-Out Burger which we see Walter  and Donny eating in the movie.

Synopsis of The Big Lebowski

 

BigLebbGOLFERRrr

Obviously You’re Not a Golfer

 

The Big Lebowski, considered by many to be the # 1 Cult Movie of All-Time. A Coen Brothers Film, starring Jeff Bridges as the Dude, with John Goodman, Julianna Moore, Steve Buscemi, and John Tarturro.

What’s it about?

The Dude (real name Jeffrey Lebowski), a Pot Smoking unemployed slacker living in Venice Beach, California, is a more or less happy-go-lucky soul, just going about his life, happy to drink his favored beverage, the White Russian Cocktail, which he calls Caucasians. Yes Dude enjoys his White Russians, smoking weed, listening to his favorite band Creedance Clearwater Rivival, hates The Eagles, and loves Bowling with his buddies, Walter and Donny.

The Dude is a left wing political liberal, happy going about his life as Bowling, Pot Smoking, Kahua drinking Stoner. Dude is a pacifist and doesn’t bother anyone.

Bunny Lebowski is the young “Trophy Wife” of a rich old cripple guy in Pasadena named Jeffrey Lebwoski. Bunny is a porn star who makes pron films produced by pornographer Jackie Treehorn who owns a big expensive beach house in Malibu. Bunny owes Jackie Treehorn money, and Jackie wants it, so he sendds a couple of his dumb goons to collect it from Bunny;s husband Jeff Lebowski. One problem. The goons go to the wrong Jeff Lebwoski;s house to collect. It’s a case of mistaken identity and Dude is the un-lucky recipient. 

The Dude comes home one night and Jackie Treehorn’s two goons are waiting inside his apartment for him. They the Dude, rush him into the bathroom and stuff his head in the toilet bowl. Goon # 1 ask, “where’s the money Lebwoski?” 

Dude replies, “what money?”  

Goon 1 tells the Dude that his wife Bunny owes Jackie Treehorn money, whcih means the Dude owes Jacckie Treehorn money, and they want it. 

Dude replies, “my wife? Do I look like I’m Fucking married? The Fucking toilet seat is up.”

The two dumb goons realize that he’s probably telling the truth, and that he’s a loser and not the rich husband of Bunny. Goon # 2 Woo ( a Chinaman) proceeds to Piss on the Dude’s rug. A rug that really tied the room together.

The next day, when the Dude goes bowling, he tells his buddies Walter and Donny what happened the night before. Dude tells them that the Chinaman (Woo) pissed on his beloved Rug. A rug that really tied the room together.

The Dude’s bowling buddy Walter convinces the Dude that the Chinaman is not the issue, and that the Dude should find the other Jeff Lebowski and have him compensate the Dude for his ruined pissed on rug, as it is his wife who owes Jackie Treehorn money, and that the goons were supposed to get the money from him (the rich Jeff Lebowski) and not the stoner Jeff Lebowski living in Venice Beach.

The Dude goes to Bunny Lebowski’s husband Jeff Lebowski’s house in Pasadena to get compensation for his rug. He has a conversation with the rich Jeffrey Lebowki who rebukes the Dude, ask him why he;s not at work on a weekday, and tells him “get a Job Sir.”

Dude walks out of the meeting as Mr. Lebowski shouts, “Condolences.”

Rich Jeff Lebowski’s manservant Brandt asks the Dude, “how’d your meeting go Mr. Lebowski?”

Dude anwers, “Great! The old man told me to take any rug in the house,” and Brandt let’s him take a rug of his choice.

The Dude meets Bunny Lebowski tanning out by the pool. Bunny tells the Dude, “I’ll Suck your Cock for a $1,000, but Brandt can’t watch or he has to pay $100.”

 

BigLebBUNNY

Brandt chuckles, and spurts, “a wonderful women. We all love her.”

Brandt tells Bunny, the Dude has to be going.

Dude, says, “I’m gonna find a cash machine,” jokingly referring to Bunny’s offer of the $1,000 Blow Job.

Dude, takes the rug and leaves.

A short time later, rich Lebowski’s man-servant Brandt contacts Dude, leaving a message on the Dudes answering machine, telling Dude that he and Mr. Lebowski would very much like to see him. Brandt tells Dude that it’s OK that he took the rug under false pretenses and that it’s OK, he can keep the rug. 

The Dude complies with Brandt’s request, and he drives out to Pasadena to meet with Brandt and The Big Lebowski.  

The Big Lebowski informs the Dude that his wife Bunny has been kidnapped and there’s a note from the kidnappers stating that they are holding Bunny for ransom.

Brandt take Dude to the side and tells him, “Mr. Lebowski is prepared to make him a very generous offer.” Mr. Lebowski wants the Dude to deliver the ransom money, and he will pay the Dude $25,000 to make the drop when the time comes. Brandt gives the Dude a Beeper and an old Brick Cel Phone and tells the Dude to wait for the call.

The next day while relaxing at home, lying on his new rug and listening to Bowling Sounds on his Sony Walkman, someone comes into the Dudes home, and knocks him out and take the Dude’s rug.

The Dude wakes up from a telephone call.  Brandt is trying to reach the Dude.

The Dude pasy a visit to Brandt at the Big Lebowski’s house, and Brandt gives the Dude a briefcase with the ransome money, and tells the Dude, “her life is in your hands Dude.”

Dude grimaces to Brandt’s statement, and tells Brandt, “don’t tell me that.” He takes the buy money, and is on his way. The Dude picks up Walter along the way. Walter opens Dude’s driver side door, throws in a beat-up old leather briefcase and tells Dude to move over. He jumps in Dude’s car and starts driving.

Dude asks Walter, “What the Hell is this?” referring to Walter’s briefcase. Walter says, “my dirty undies.”

Dude, “what the Fuck.”

Walter tells the Dude that he’s going to throw out his briefcase with his dirt underwear in it in place of Dude’s briefcase with thee buy money. Then they’ll grab one of the kidnappers and beat him until he tells then where Bunny Lebowski is.

The kidnappers call the Dude on the Brick Celphone, the Dude picks up, “Dude here,” Walter is still chatting away and shouts out, “they’re a bunch of Fucking Amateurs!”

The kidnapper ask, “who that?” Dude tells him it’s the driver. The kidnapper reminds Dude that he’s supposed to be making drop alone.

Dude explains, “Hey Man. I can’t drive, talk on the phone, and drop off the money all alone.”

The kidnapper hangs up the phone and Dude tells Walter, “You Fucked it up. They’re gonna kill her.”

Walter states, “nothing is Fuck here Dude. She kidnapped herself. You said it. You’re being very Un-Dude Dude.

Hi Jinx ensues. The hand-off is botched and Walter and the Dude take-off. They go bowling.

The Dude leaves the Ransom Money in his car, and when they come out of the bowling alley his car is gone. Someone stole it.

As they are bowling, the Dude asks Walter, “what the Fuck are we gonna do?”

Walter, “What exactly is the problem?”

Dude, “What? Ah. We didn’t  …. they’re gonna kill that poor woman.”

Walter, “What the Fuck are you talking about? That poor woman … That poor Slut kidnapped herself. You said it yourself Dude.”

The finish bowling and leave. When the get out into the bowling alley parking lot, they discovered that the Dude car is missing. Someone stole it. Dude says, Ah Fuck it,” and starts walking home as his celphone rings.

Donny says, “you’re phones ringing Dude.”

Dude, “Thank you Donny.”

Maude Lebowski (Big Lebowski’s daughter) claims responsibility for the rug and asks The Dude to visit. The case is closed on the rug.

The Dude visits Maude, who claims the whole kidnapping is a hoax and confirms that Bunny and the Nihilists are long-time friends. She believes that Bunny is using this as a ploy to make some cash to pay her debts. There is some concern that the ransom money has been taken from the Little Lebowski Urban Achievers. Maude offers the Dude $100,000 to recover the money for her, with which he can buy numerous rugs. 

When Dude gets home, Brandt and the Big Lebowski are sitting in BL’s Limo, outside Dude’s house. The Big Lebowski’s limo driver strong-arms Dude toward Big Lebowski’s limo. Dude chimes, “careful Man, I got a Beverage here.” (referring to the White Russian in his hand)

The chauffeur throws the Dude in the Limo with Brandt and the Big Lebowski.

Big Lebowski, “start talking and talk fast you Bum!”

Brandt, “We been frantically trying to reach you Dude.”

Big Lebowski “Where’s my God Dam Money you Bum!”

Dude, “Well well. I dont … we.”

Big Lebowski, “The did not receive the money you Knit-Wit. Her life was in your hands.”

Brandt, “this is our concern Dude.”

 

BigLebLIMOo

 

Dude, “Nothing is Fucked.”

Big Lebowski, “Nothing is Fucked? The God Dam Plane has crashed into the Mountain!”

The Big Lebowski hands Dude a little package. Dude opens it, and finds a toe inside (supposedly, the toe was cut off of Bunny’s foot).

Dude meats Walter for coffee and tells Dude that the toe is not Bunny’s toe and that he can get a toe by 3 o’clock, and with nail polish. “You don’t want to know Dude.”

 

7be0f-biglebcoffeee

“What about the Fucking Toe !!!???”

 

One day Maude Lebowski shows up at Dude’s house. 

Maude, “Love me Jeffrey,” she tells him. They make love and then chat in bed afterwards. “The Maude tells Dude to tell her about himself. He tells her he was part of The SEATTLE SEVEN.

Dude gets up out of bed and makes himself a White Russsian. He asks Maude if  she wants a cocktail. Dude notices Maude doing some kind of exercise and ask Maude if she’s doing Yoga.

Maude replies, “No, it increases the chance of conception.” Dude spits his cocktail out.

He spurts out, “Conception?”

Maude says, “yes, what do you think this is Fun & Games?” I want a child.”

Dude retorts, “let me explains something about the Dude here.”

Maude explains that she wants nothing to do with the child’s father and doesn’t want to have to be seen with him socially, and that he doesn’t have to support or see the child. She just wants to get pregnant so she can have a child.

As the Dude chats with Maude, he figures out the Big Lebowski’s whole scam. Dude calls up Walter and tells him he needs a ride to Pasadena. Walter says he can’t because it’s Shabbos and he can’t drive on the Jewish Holy Day.

Dude goes outside to wait for Walter, and finds DaFino a Private Dick outside his house.

DaFino tells Dude he loves his Work, “in and out of Bed with Everyone.”

DaFino asks Dude if he wants to trade information?

The Dude says, “FUCK you man. Stay away from my Special Lady.”

Walter picks the Dude up and they drive to Pasadena to the Big Lebowski’s House, where they confront him and tell him that he planned the whole kidnapping with using the Nihilist to extort a Million Dollars from the Little Lebowski Achievers Fund for under privileged children.

Dude and Walter meet Donny and go bowling.

When they come out of the bowling alley, Dude’s car is on fire in the parking lot.

Dude see his car on fire and says, “Well they finally Fucking did it. They Killed my Fucking Car.”

The Nihilist are outside and demand money from the Dude, “we want zee Money Lebowski.”

Nihlist 2, “Yeah or else we Kill the Girl.”

Dude, “You don’t have the Girl Fucking Girl Dip-Shit. You we know you never did.”

Donny says, “Are these the Nazis Walter?”

Walter, No Donny, these men are Nihilist. It’s nothing to be afraid of.”

Nihilist 1, “We still want the money, or we Fuck You Up Lebowski.”

Walter, “No man, you don’t have a hostage. Without a hostage, you don’t get a ransom. That’s what ransom is. Those are the Fucking rules.”

The Nihilist still want money.

Dude says, “here’s 4 Bucks, almost 5”

Donny says, “I got $18.”

Nihilist 1, “we Fuck you up man. We take the money.”

Nihilist, “We Fuck you up man.” He pulls out a Sword.

Dude, “come on Walter he’s got a Sword.”

The Nihilist fight with Walter and the Dude. Donny has a heart attack and dies.

Donny’s body is cremated.

The Dude and Walter go to the crematorium to pick up Donny’s ashes. The Funeral Director wants to charge them $180 for an Urn for Donny’s Ashes. Walter has a fit and says it’s too much, the proceeds to go to a Ralph’s Supermarket and buys a large can of Folger’s Coffee to put Donny’s ashes.

Walter and The Dude go to Malibu Beach to have a Ceremony for Donny and spread his ashes into the Pacific Ocean.

Walter shakes the coffee can and half of Donny’s end up spattered on the Dude and in his face. None of Donny’s ashes end up in the ocean. Dude is Pissed.

 

The END

 

 

The BIG LEBOWSKI COOKBOOK

e88e0-screen2bshot2b2016-10-302bat2b2.49.232bpm

GOT ANY KAHLUA  ?

aka The BIG LEBOWSKI COOKBOOK

Want a COPY ?

 

The BIG LEBOWSKI 1998

Starring Jeff Bridges as The DUDE

Co-Starring :

John Goodman as Walter

Steve Buscemi as Donny

Tara Reid as BUNNY LEBOWSKI

Philip Seymour Hoffman as Brandt

Sam Elliot as The Cowboy Stranger 

Ben Gazzara as Jackie Treehorn (Pornographer)

John Tarturro as “The JESUS:

Julianne Moore as Maude Lebowski

David Huddleston as The Big Lebowski

FLEA as Nihilist # 2

 

Produced by Ethan Coen

Written by Joel Coen, Ethan Coen

Directed by Joel Coen

Budget 15 Million Dollars

Box Office $46.2 Million

Shot in TCHNICOLOR 35mm